A loud secret

Did you know 1 in 10 couples suffers from infertility? Brutal honesty time? Jeff and I are one of the 1 in 10.

We have tried for over 3 years to have a third baby. We’ve done fertility drugs, charting, and a host of other embarrassing, time consuming, exhausting, heart wrenching things. Hours of praying. Hours of our loved ones and friends praying. Begging to God in the middle of the night with silent tears seeping into the pillowcase. Smiling genuine smiles as my sister and several other close friends announce a pregnancy and have their baby. Sometimes twice. One of the hardest things, for me, was sitting on the sidelines while a handful of other women I am close to and also had conception issues got pregnant. All of them. But me.

I’ve been somewhat vocal on Facebook about our experiences. 5 months ago, after a year of fertility drugs that made me crazy, sad, and bloated, we stopped trying. No more meds. No more schedules. No more charting. No more heartache every month. I literally gave it up to God. Was not bitter. A little sad, yes, but hopeful for the moving forward period of our lives. No more diaper bags or bottles. I got rid of all our baby stuff – gone. I cleaned out closets and cleaned out my heart.

For weeks 4 and 5, I’ve made a video diary about our experiences with infertility.

Don’t. Skip. It.

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